You don’t need to pick a china pattern- if you let your guests know your true desires, you may get exactly what you want. If you’re are outdoor adventurers, REI and EMS have in store registries in many states and online as well. Great gift ideas - coupled sleeping bags that zip together to make one big snugly blanket or mountain bikes for a weekend get away.

If you are interested in one big gift such as a vacation trip or kitchen renovation, ask a friend to be a gift coordinator. Pass along her information to people who may be interested to chip in. Know that the more expensive the idea, the more likely you may have to add in some money yourself to get the final gift.

Do not be afraid to put down some of your wedding costs as gift ideas. For example, I have taken payments from guests to help pay for the wedding cake. Many of you have been living together for awhile and don’t need or want the typical “Bed, Bath and Beyond” wedding registry. I am more than happy to take payments from other sources. As long as I am paid in full by 2 weeks prior to the wedding, I think it’s a wonderful idea to have guest participate in the finances of the cake. You don’t get a gift you don’t want/need and they get to see your reaction to the cake at the reception.

It has become very popular to have money donated to a  charity of your choosing. A very nice way to share some of the joy of the day.

If you are conbining different races or religions at your wedding, do some research on the wedding traditions of both your and your partner’s families as a place to begin. Consider how you can nix them up. For instance, use an African kentle cloth as a Jewish chuppah, or wear Thai puang malai (Floral garlands) while eating a dim sum wedding dinner. Whatever you do, explain the significance to your guests either during the ceremony or in the program notes. For help, check out the book “Weddings by Design: A guide to a non-traditional ceremony” by Richard Leviton

*52 Tips for the Bride to be, Chronicle books

Here are six questions to ask before you start looking for a wedding site:

1. Indoors or outdoors? You will need alternative plans if the weather is bad. I delivered a cake to a location where the bride had locked herself in her room because it had begun to rain-pour actually- and her dreams of getting married atop a mountain were traded for getting married in the hotel lobby while guests checked in.

2. Do you have a caterer in mind? Some site have caterers, some caterers have sites

3. What’s the budget? Location fee VS paying per head

4. Do you want all your guests seated in one room? This is best for hearing and efficient service.

5. What are your intended numbers? Remember you need room for dining, dancing and parking.

6. Does the site book more than one wedding per day? This is no joke. I was bringing in the wedding cake while the drunk,conga line was leaving from the earlier booked wedding. I have had many brides share with me that they were led to believe they had the place to themselves only to find out it would be theirs only after the other wedding was over. Some places make the transition very well and this can be a way to save money. Others are horrible at it. Beware of the exhausted staff if you are wedding #2.